Time is but a memory, the only moment that matters is now~ Tash Blum
Hi All! As I begin writing this post, I sit in what has been designated "my chair" for the few hours that I'm here at the Southern Cancer Center. I get to sit by several huge windows that present me with a lovely view of the Mobile area. I'm hooked up to tubes and receiving some pretty intense doses of drugs and my best friend is by my side. There are lots of wonderful people sitting around the room, receiving their own toxic cocktails, and I feel blessed in this moment.
This past week has been a trying one for me. As I mentioned in a previous post, one of the inevitable side effects of the chemo cocktail I'm on is hair loss. As a woman who loved her hair I tried to prepare myself by cutting off 30 years of long hair the day after my first treatment. I am so happy I made that decision, I loved the cut and I got to enjoy an entirely new look for a little while. Two weeks later the inevitable began and I started losing large clumps of hair. Thankfully the clumps were 3 inches long instead of 10, which is another reason why I am so glad I cut my hair! Within a few days my head began it's descent into baldness and was becoming a complete nuisance. Hair in my face, in my clothes, all over the floor and the worst of all was it dropping into my food. Bald spots began forming all over my head, which actually reminded Kevin and I of that character Rachel Dratch played on SNL, the one where she was a contestant on American Idol (video clip of Rachel Dratch on SNL). Yes, that's who I was seeing in the mirror and I couldn't have that, so I had Kev give me a good old fashion buzz (Watch me get a buzz).
That was a whole new experience. I put up with the tiny hairs constantly falling all over the place and the lack of sleep due to all of the pricklys sticking to my pillow for about four days, then while Kevin was out of town and it was just me, myself and the cats, I decided to shave my head. I had never shaved a head before but didn't care, I was determined. The only thing I was worried about was if it would hurt to go all the way down to the scalp. Kevin walked me through what to do and I did it and it didn't hurt a bit (physically that is!) So now I truly am a baldy. It's super weird, but it is me for now.
Aside from the hair loss, I have been doing pretty good. BUT, I'm going to be completely honest, this past weekend was rough. My second chemo was Friday and I left there in good spirits but feeling a bit tired. They had given me this really cool gadget that would automatically inject my Neulasta booster shot the next day so thankfully we didn't have to get up early in the morning to go back to the hospital. And yes, the shot did it's thing 27 hours later and I received my shot. (Here's a video the initial injection given to me by the gadget, which wasn't bad at all but I think if you listen to Kevin's comment he may have been a little disappointed?)
I ended up sleeping 14 hours Saturday night into Sunday afternoon. I was spent, my bones ached from the shot and my body felt like it had been run over by a truck. It was rough. I'm so thankful Kevin got me up that evening to go walk down to the bay to watch the sunset. It was one of the most beautiful ones I had ever seen and I was so thankful that I got to enjoy that amazing moment with him.
I have made some big changes in my life since this all began. I've made changes in my diet, cut my wine consumption down, committed to do something active daily as opposed to just five days a week, meditate a couple of times a day and added some Plexus products into my life (all approved by my Oncologist of course). I believe all of these changes have given me a great advantage to overcoming this disease in my body and have contributed to how good I have been feeling overall.
I know these past few days are just part of the process and with the help and love of my amazing husband, family and friends I have already conquered this! Now I'm just walking it out, remembering that time is but a memory and the only moment that matters is now.
Love all of you amazing people!
P.S. We close on our beach house tomorrow!! Yay!!